How to Relax | Decrease Stress in Five Minutes with this Technique
Life Coach Kris J Simpson demonstrate’s the practice called The Four B’s of Being Present and show you how to relax and decrease stress in five minutes.
Have you been in a stressed state lately and haven’t been able to relax?
It’s challenging to remain in a relaxed state these days because there is so many distractions, and so many things to do and so little time to do them.
So it would be paradoxical to think that taking five minutes out of your intensely busy day to relax and do nothing would be beneficial. But this is the paradox that allows us to do so much more in our life with grace and ease.
Stress is just the modern day word for fear. And it affects our F.E.A.R.S. In my book; the All Inclusive Diet, I explain that our F.E.A.R.S or the five-facets of our lifestyles (Food, Emotions, Activity, Relaxing and Sleeping) are influenced by our state of being.
When we are in a stressed state, we behave quite differently than if we were in a relaxed state. We make different food choices; we tend to be more reactive in our relationships with others, and have higher levels of emotional variability.
Our activity decreases as being active become less of a priority when we are dealing with crisis or conflict in our lives. We don’t take the time to relax because there’s no time for it and our sleeping patterns change as well.
I would like to share with you a five-minute relaxing technique which will allow you to create some space so that you can begin to get a perspective on the reality of a stressful situation. It is that moment in time that you will be able to resolve it.
I call it the Four B’s of Being Present. It is something that I practice each morning. Here are the steps:
Do four cycles of this timed breathing sequence:
Inhale – 4 seconds
Hold your breath – 7 seconds
Exhale – 8 seconds
Place your right hand on your left chest so you can feel the beat of your heart and continue to focus on breathing normally.
Ask yourself internally this questions –
What have I been blessed with?
What do I have in my life right now that I am thankful and grateful for? This could be a person, the place you are in currently or a particular thing that you have in your life.
Focus on your answer and keep repeating it internally.
Ask yourself internally these questions –
What do you need to be blessed with?
What do you need currently in your life that would enable you to be a better person? Something that will help you serve more people in your life (this could be more courage, more patience or more compassion).
Focus on your response and continue repeating it.
This practice should be done in a quiet place, sitting upright in a comfortable position, preferably with your eyes closed. It should be done for a minimum of five minutes, but you can extend the time if you wish. I recommend working up to 20 minutes. Watch the video for a full demonstration.
The focus of this practice is not on the intensity, but rather the consistency. It will bring immediate relief if you are currently under stress, and with continued practice, it will allow you to avoid getting into a stressful state in the first place.
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[otw_shortcode_content_toggle title=”Get the Full Transcript” opened=”closed”]Hello, friend, Kris here. I am very relaxed right now. A little uncommon for me, you know normally I’m bouncing off of the ceiling in most of my videos. But I just finished a five-minute relaxing practice, something that I practice each and every day, each and every morning actually, and it puts me into this-this relaxed state. And it’s this relaxed state that takes me out of a stress state. So, I wanted to ask you, have you been in a stressed state lately? Have you been able to relax? And if you haven’t, then I get it, because it’s challenging. It’s really challenging today because there are just so many distractions and so many things to do and just not enough time. So, it would be paradoxical to think, well, take five minutes out of your super intensely busy day to relax and actually do nothing, but it’s the do nothing paradox that actually allows us to do so much more in our life, and have so much more fulfillment in our life, more importantly. You know, we’re only here for a short amount of time, and we really want to make sure that we’re aware of that and grateful for that each and every day. And try to live moment to moment as best as we can and not live so much in the past with our previous memories and regrets, and also not live too far into the future, where it’s unknown territory, we don’t know what’s going to happen. And try as best as we can to be right here, right now, and that’s what relaxing allows us to do, and that’s why it’s so important. And the opposite of that is stress, of course, which is really just the modern day word for fear. And it affects our fears. I talk a lot about this in my book, the All Inclusive Diet, and F.E.A.R.S. is what I call the five facets of our life, and they are food, emotions, activity, relaxing, and sleeping. So, when we’re in a state of stress or we’re afraid of something, then we act much differently in our lifestyle, we make different decisions, and they’re not all that good. We don’t make the right food decisions, either we undereat or overeat. Emotionally, we don’t treat people as we should, or as we would like to be treated. Activity, we don’t spend a lot of time being active because that’s low on the priority list, especially if there’s a current crisis that’s going on in your life that’s causing a lot of stress. Relaxing, well, again, there is that paradox, we don’t really think of relaxing and doing nothing when there’s just so much to do. And sleeping, either we’re undersleeping, or, in some cases, we’re oversleeping. But as you can see, that’s not the perfect lifestyle, and it would lead to a lot of health problems as well. Weight problems, addiction problems, all these self-created problems come about really from the origin of stress or fear, that’s where all of our problems originate from and they surface into these form like things that we can put our fingers on and try to figure out, but a lot of times we don’t need to figure that out, what we really need to do is just relax. So, I wanna show you this really quick five-minute relaxing practice that I do each and every morning. I call it the four B’s of being present. And that is your breath, your beat, your blessing, and blessing is twofold, it is what have you already been blessed with and what do you need to be blessed with to go forward in your life. Now first things first, I want you to set up your environment before you do this five-minute practice and it should be a quiet area, where perhaps you’re alone, and this is something that you might have to do first thing in the morning, or maybe it’s something that you do before you go to bed, but you’re gonna have to have some solitude and some silence for this type of practice. You can do this sitting down, you could sit on the floor, you can sit on a chair like I am, but you need to be relaxed physically so that we can relax you mentally and emotionally as well. So, grab a chair, let’s get started. The first B of being present is to focus on our breath. When we focus on our breath, we immediately get relief, relief from stress. And it’s a very strange phenomenon, but mostly what’s happening is that our involuntary and our voluntary nervous systems start to relax, they simmer down, enough for us to have some sense of what’s going on, the reality of things. Because sometimes the reality can be really blown out of proportion and we see that when we look back, but when we’re in the thick of it, when we’re in the weeds, it’s really difficult for us to figure things out and to have a second look at ourselves and understand just how ridiculous sometimes we’re being when we’re in a situation and the way that we’re behaving, and the way that we’re reacting. So, having a chance just to take a breath allows us that opportunity to get reflective, and to start seeing what is going on in all the different scenarios in our lives. There’s a particular type of breathing that Dr. Andy Weil, you can look him up, it’s spelled W-E-I-L, vel, pronounced. And what he does is a cadence type of breathing, which I also practice as well. Cadence is just a timing, so we’re timing our breathing and by doing so, it allows us to really focus on our breathing because we gotta count out the seconds and the seconds of our inhale need to be counted along with how long we hold the breath, and then how long we exhale the breath. And the timing looks like this, it’s a four, seven, eight. So we’re inhaling for a count of four, we’re holding for a count of seven, and we’re exhaling for a count of eight. So, let’s just go through this really briefly so I can show you. When you’re doing this practice it really helps to close your eyes and, I even take a step further and I close my ears, and I do this with construction earphones, those earphones that you’d see on construction sites with the people that are jackhammering, and I really like to have a quiet environment when I’m going through this really brief practice. So, whatever works for you, but try to either get into a quiet environment or use some sort of headphones that would protect from the outside sounds, and also just close your eyes, and doing that just avoids you getting caught in the distractions, and perhaps you’re looking around your room and say, hey, I need to clean something here, or hmm, I need to do this, I need to do that. So, this is not a time to look at your to-do list. This is time for you, this is where you actually say, what have I done for myself lately? So, let’s get under way here, taking a deep breath in for a four-count. Ready, inhale. Good, we’ll hold that for seven. And exhale for eight. Good, let’s do that three more times. We’re gonna do this for four cycles, breathing in for four. Hold for seven. And exhale for eight. One more time, breathing in. Hold. And out. Try to purse your lips on the way out, it helps as well. One more time. Breathing in. Hold. And out. Perfect, how do you feel now? Wow, it’s just amazing. It’s amazing what happens when we connect to our body. Now, the second B of being present is the beat, the internal beat, our heartbeat, this other magnificent organ that we have here, which gives us the wonderful life that we’ve been blessed with, that’s in our body that does its job 24/7, 365, and keeps us alive. It’s just remarkable. So, what we wanna do is we wanna connect to that. Now, not to go too far down the woo-woo hole here, I don’t want to scare off anybody that perhaps this is something new to them, getting into this relaxed state, but there’s a lot of energy coming from this center of our body. This center is full of nerves, and when we place our hand on it, we have a connection to our nervous system, and that connection allows us to have some solace, some security, and a feeling of being safe, and that’s really the state that we need to be in in order to relax. So, what I’d like you to do now is just place your hand on your heart, just lightly, not too low, not too high, just right across your chest, on the left side of your chest. And if you can, try to feel the heartbeat, and you can do this with your eyes closed as well. Now I just want you to remember that everything is okay, that everything is all right, and that you can give yourself five minutes just to breathe and relax, and let your nervous system recover, recover from all the stress and all the things that perhaps aren’t going the right way or your way, and this is just your timeout, a five-minute timeout. Now, the third and the fourth B of being present is understanding what you’ve been blessed with and also asking for a blessing, something that perhaps you need. You need not just for yourself, but for yourself to serve others. So I found the best way to do this is to turn your hands up, and this basically is an ancient practice, and those of you that have practiced yoga, for example, and these types of mind-body types of activities will recognize this, but this is a receiving gesture. So we’re going to recognize what we already have, what we’re holding in our lives right now, and we’re also going to be asking for something and putting our hand out literally, and asking whomever it is and being thankful for whomever it is. May it be the universe, may it be God, may it be your family, maybe your children, whatever it is that you wanna say thank you for, and also ask something for. So I want you to place your hands up and let’s go through this exercise here, I’ll lead you through it if you’re doing it with me. So, again, the breath continues throughout this whole five-minute practice. So, keeping your hands up, closing your eyes. I want you to think about what you are blessed with right now. What do you have in your life you’re truly grateful and thankful for? Is it a person or is it people? Perhaps it’s a place that you’re in right now. Perhaps it’s something that you have in your life, something that’s tangible, a thing that you’re really grateful for. And I want you to internally say thank you. I want you to say thank you for that thing that you have, or that person in your life, or the place that you are right now. You can say thank you to whomever you like. You could be thanking the universe, could be thanking God, if it’s a person, you could be thanking them internally right now. And I want you to say it internally, I want you to say thank you. And I also want you to think of how life would be different if you didn’t have that person, place, or that thing in your life right now. How much would you miss it? How would your life be different? I want you to ponder on that. I want you to feel it. I want you to focus on it, if your mind wanders, it’s completely normal. This is something that even the best of us cannot do perfectly. This is a practice that needs to be practiced. And it’s not something that we wanna do with intensity, it’s something that we just want to do consistently. We wanna do this five minutes a day, everyday, at whatever time serves you best. So, the next and final B of being present is asking for a blessing. You can ask God, you can ask universe, you can ask a person that’s in your life for something that you need. What is it that you need in your life? What is it that you want to bring into your life that will bring more fulfillment, that will allow you to become the person that you know you could be, enable you to serve more people graciously. What is that thing? Perhaps it’s courage. Perhaps it’s patience. Perhaps it’s compassion. Maybe it’s tied in with the person, the place, or the thing that you believe that you’ve been blessed with, and you want to continue being blessed with. But you know that you need something to stay connected with that blessing. Focusing on the breath when your mind wanders, bring it back, and bring it back to that one thing that you need in your life, which would be a blessing, which would help you serve others and bring more fulfillment into your life. This takes all of five minutes and how do you feel right now? Do you feel more relaxed? Do you feel more free, that you’ve got some space and some time to move around and take a look at things, and see them for what they really are, and to get into a very contemplative state, where you can make some decisions perhaps? Whatever it is, it doesn’t really matter, but what we need to do is get ourself into this state more frequently. Everyday, everyday for five minutes. That’s what I’d like you to do now, is think about the next time that you would be able to do this, when is it gonna be? Where are you going to be? And how are you gonna control the environment so that you’ve got some solitude, you’ve got some silence, you’ve got a comfortable place to sit, like I do right now, these are important things to let your mind relax. When your mind relax, your body can relax. When your mind and body are relaxed, they can become connected, and when we feel connected, we feel safe and secure, and we’re able to be more than we could ever be when we’re in a state of stress. So I wanna leave you with one final prayer, it’s an intention and this is what I’d like your intention to be the next time that you do this five-minute practice for relaxation, goes like this, today my intention is to forget about the rest of the world, so that I can find rest and peace for myself. My friend, inspire to aspire.[/otw_shortcode_content_toggle]