– Hey friends, KJ Simpson here, author of the number one bestseller The All Inclusive Diet and I help people cultivate energy restore balance and keep the weight off now as a weight loss coach you can imagine I get this question all the time, Chris, I need to lose weight, what do I do, and I’ve been asking them, well what are you waiting for? Get it? Lose the weight, what are you waiting for, but in all seriousness now, a lot of people are permanently stuck waiting, waiting for their life to change, waiting for the better weather to come or waiting for their work schedule to change or waiting for their kid’s school schedule to change or whatever it is, they’ve permanently put themselves in this waiting state which is filled with fear and frustration and I’m not good enough, kind of feelings that just don’t allow us to show up as we truly could, empowered, full of self esteem, full of confidence, ready to take on the world, ready to give the world what we have inside, this gift that we’ve all been given. Now I know how that feels because I was permanently stuck in this purgatory where I was waiting to make changes with my health, I was waiting to make changes with my weight, I was waiting to make changes with this underlying or overlying problem that I had which is called addiction, and because I was in that waiting period I had a lot of self sabotaging types of behaviors and beliefs going on that I really had to make changes internally first, from the inside out and what I mean by that is in order to solve a weight problem and in order to keep the weight off, I really think that you have to have your heart-set first, you really have to feel, you know, the pain initially, so that you break through to the other side and have the feelings of pleasure and freedom like I have today. And then the second thing is, you need to change your mind-set, okay, so after the heart is set then the mind has to be set we need to be thinking about the ways and the solutions and the tactics and the different habits that we can have that will keep the weight off. And then third, you have to implement those habits and those tactics and those strategies, and that’s the skill-set, so it really is, setting your heart first, setting your mind, and then using the skill-set, which, I bet, a lot of you already have, if you’ve lost weight before and put it right back on again, you probably went back to a new skill-set, and then another skill-set as the cycle, or the pattern repeats itself so what I also tell people is, you probably already know how to lose weight, you have the skills, but do you have the mind-set and have you really felt what the problem is on a deeper emotional level, not the surface level stuff, you know the fundamental stuff of food and fitness but really on a soul or spirit level. So I’m gonna show you the three reasons why people purposely, subconsciously or consciously, put themselves into this waiting state. And the first reason is their beliefs system a lot of people really believe that their weight problem is the nemesis, that it’s something that they can’t conquer that has conquered them in the past time and time again and although they’ve got desire and maybe once, twice or three times a year they’ll start a new weight loss program, they don’t believe that they can actually lose the weight and they’ve already failed from the get go, you know, because they just don’t have the heart for it, the heart or the belief that they can actually lose the weight and that’s a huge problem, and fundamentally speaking it doesn’t make any sense because we know that the energy, okay, that we have in our bodies it also consists of fat, and fat is just energy and it’s just waiting for that day that we decide to use it. So really fundamentally there’s no reason why we should ever fail at a weight loss program unless our heart is not in it. Now the second reason why people put themselves into this waiting game when it comes to losing weight is protection, I have had many clients, a lot of female clients that have suffered trauma, especially earlier on in their life, sexual abuse, and molestation and all of these terrible terrible things that have happened to them and they have put themselves in this protective state and a lot of times, that requires them to look undesirable and to put on a few pounds and a few more pounds, and then they feel safe and secure and that’s all because of the trauma that they had in the past which they’re still holding on to in their heart and they really haven’t moved on so that they can get into you know, thinking it out and getting the help they need and putting the skills into action. The other thing is identity. A lot of people want to protect their identity and humans don’t make sense all the time, they really don’t and what I mean by that is we get used to our own uncomfortableness, and that becomes our new norm, or we become comfortable, within our own uncomfortableness if that makes sense. So our identity is sometimes tied to our weight or the way that we look and to move on from that we might have an identity crisis and that might be hard for us to handle, so sometimes it’s just safer to keep, the way, what we are, the weight that we are, the way that we look, the way that we take care of ourselves the lifestyle that we’re used to, our norm, sometimes that provides us the protection that we need and the third reason why people put themselves into this waiting game is for grounding purposes now what do I mean by that? Well, you know, we have a balloon and if you want that balloon to rise, you gotta cut the cords and that’s when you get the ascension and the elevation of the balloon, what you’re looking for, but if that balloon remains tied down to the ground, then it aint going anywhere now that’s a safe place to be perhaps if you don’t really want to ascend but it’s not going to give you the elevation that you need to have the changes that you want with your weight, with your lifestyle, with your confidence and your self-esteem levels. So sometimes we self sabotage ourselves because we’re really afraid of elevating ourselves, of ascending, of bettering ourselves, and the reason being is that we’re just afraid of success, and this is a common human condition, we all suffer from the same human condition and it comes in many different varieties, but it all comes down to fear based thinking and we can actually be afraid of success too, because that is going to be perhaps an uncomfortable an uncertain place for us where we don’t really know what’s gonna happen next and we don’t know if we can maintain that new standard that we’ve set for ourselves that people are expecting of us as well because we know everyone’s got their eyes on us, or at least we think they do, anyways. But besides that, this is really difficult for people to overcome because it’s just a fear of breaking the certain, the certain that they know, the lifestyle that they know, the weight that they know, the clothes that they know don’t fit them, but they know so well, so that’s the third reason. Now, how to overcome this, again, we need to take a look at the feeling of it all, and actually feel that pain and go through that process and get ourselves to the point where the pain is so difficult, it’s so challenging, it’s so heartbreaking that we want to move on, because let’s face it, and here’s the other thing about humans is we only move when our ass is on fire, so sometimes we have to light the fire ourselves. It’s great if you’re a pyromaniac, not so great if you don’t really know how to light a match underneath your own butt. But sometimes that’s what’s required and if you can’t do it yourself, then you need somebody like a coach, a teacher, a mentor, and somebody that’s just gonna give it to you straight and give it to you hard at times, so that you could feel that heat, and then that heat is gonna be the energy or the motivation that you need to move forward. The second thing is we need to start using our mind but in such a positive way so if our belief systems, okay, are based on what we do believe that we can make this change and we know, truly, in our hearts, why we need to make this change, then we can start using this logical thing on my shoulders, and we can really put our mindset to work, so that it doesn’t work against us, it works for us. As Tony Robbins says, when you get in your head, you’re dead in the sense that if you got a mindset that is self-sabotaging you then it will sabotage you each and every time that you give it some directions. Hey mind, we really need to keep the weight off here, and this time, for good, we gotta do it. But if it didn’t come from your heart then your mind is gonna go on autopilot and autopilot means that it’s always gonna be focused on fear, because that’s what our mind is designed to do, it’s two million years old and that aint gonna change anytime soon, not with me, not with you, so knowing that we have to have the heart in place, the heart needs to be set and in the right place for us to move on and start using this powerful thing on top of my shoulders and then the third thing is, you’ve gotta start putting the skill-set and the habits and the structure into our lifestyle, and guess what, it’s gonna have to be repetitive, just like that muscle that we keep working, I don’t know how many curls I’ve done, in every way, I’ve probably even done them upside down, to be honest with you, but I know that I gotta keep doing those curls because I know this muscle over here aint gonna be there, or is not gonna be strong anyways if I put that weight down and I stop training it, I gotta keep training, I gotta keep practicing it, I gotta keep doing the reps and yeah, it’s gonna be boring, it’s gonna be mundane sometimes but I know that the pain of not doing it is far greater than the pain that I go through with a thirty minute arm workout. So those are the three things that I want you to focus on if you’re in that purgatory state of waiting it out and waiting for the perfect time for you to start losing the weight, and obviously keeping the weight off, and I wanna read you this quick quote, this vlog was actually inspired by a spiritual teacher named Basher and this is a quote from him, when we start relaxing about what we think we’re supposed to do, we can begin to do many of the things we want to do, we stop waiting and we move forward. Well said and I wanna leave you with this, if there’s anybody that you think can benefit from this conversation, please share this video, please like it, please comment please feed me, I’m very hungry, I want your feedback until the next video my friend, inspire to aspire.